Deep thoughts by Tara Moeller
You know how during the day babies struggle to poop? Their faces turn bright red, their body tenses up, and their little fists clenched tight. It's a 10 minute sweat fest for the baby. And now I ponder, how is it that she has a more than full diaper when she wakes up? Isn't she in the most relaxed state? Does it just ooze out? Seriously...she can't be pushing that hard while she's sleeping, can she? I mean I wouldn't be able to poop in my sleep, would you?
Just a thought.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
The Sleep Monitor
All moms go out and get the best baby monitor and set it up perfectly so they can keep close tabs on the baby. So, of course, we did the same. Actually we went to Babies R Us and registered for the most expensive (because it has to be the best, right). We didn't want the responsiblily of doing the researching all of the blah blah blahs...after all, expensive means better, right? Whatever.
Anyways, we got the nighttime vision, vibrating, walkie talkie type of monitor. Very high tech. When the baby cries, we can put it on vibrate so we don't actually have to hear her cry. It just vibrates once it gets to a loud enough level. Sweet! Now my boobs don't throb everytime the baby monitor screams at me. Though now I'm a bit nervous that I might train my body to lactate everytime something vibrates. Hmmm, where I could go with that last statement but this is a family show.
Let's talk the night vision...it's a bit alien like. When she looks at the screen, all you see is a scary white head and black beady eyes. Creepy. The eyes just stare at the screen and it almost feels like she's staring right through the monitor to you.
It is a bit funny when it's Jon's turn to put her binky back into her mouth. I can spy to see if he actually picks her up or just does his duty.
It truly is a cool gadget. I'm excited to see what we do with it after we stop using if for Addison...hmmm.
Anyways, we got the nighttime vision, vibrating, walkie talkie type of monitor. Very high tech. When the baby cries, we can put it on vibrate so we don't actually have to hear her cry. It just vibrates once it gets to a loud enough level. Sweet! Now my boobs don't throb everytime the baby monitor screams at me. Though now I'm a bit nervous that I might train my body to lactate everytime something vibrates. Hmmm, where I could go with that last statement but this is a family show.
Let's talk the night vision...it's a bit alien like. When she looks at the screen, all you see is a scary white head and black beady eyes. Creepy. The eyes just stare at the screen and it almost feels like she's staring right through the monitor to you.
It is a bit funny when it's Jon's turn to put her binky back into her mouth. I can spy to see if he actually picks her up or just does his duty.
It truly is a cool gadget. I'm excited to see what we do with it after we stop using if for Addison...hmmm.
Easy Come. Easy Go.
I think it's HILARIOUS how this entry can follow the last entry. Not that he's a bad dad at all (in fact, quite the opposite)...just maybe a little forgetful.
We (Addison and I) had a bad day yesterday. She was super fussy and I was nearing mind loss. I tried everything, bouncing on the yoga ball, playing on the floor, holding her, rocking her, taking her for a car ride (man, I didn't realize our neighborhood was so small...after 15 rounds on the same street, I called that quits too), finally surrendering to a tall glass of wine and retail therapy.
I met some friends out in Burlingame and was SO happy when Jon said he'd put her to bed...bath and everything! I was SO excited and seriously moved to tears at this ever so kind gesture.
This morning, I woke up to a not so nice surprise. Addison's room seriously smells like a hazmat area. I feel like I can't see through the 8+ hour funk from sleeping through the night (believe me, I'd take the eye lash curling smell over a full nights sleep any day). But this morning was oddly different. Almost like popcorn mixed with kitty litter (the kind that has already been soiled) but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. As I got closer to the crib, the smell was getting thicker and I was loosing consciousness. After I sprayed myself with a little water and came to...that's when I noticed...Good Daddy forgot to put a diaper on her last night. So after 8 hours of her pooping and peeing, there the poor girl lay in her own soiled bed. She actually was smiling bigger than ever when I realized what had happened...I think she was saying "the jokes on you, mommy...now get me out of this stench."
Ah, Jon...this is the same guy that ran back into the house to get his wallet and after 10 minutes I came in to help him look only to find him watching TV. He FORGOT we were going anywhere and FORGOT I was waiting in the car. We love him though but I think I will do a diaper check next time.
We (Addison and I) had a bad day yesterday. She was super fussy and I was nearing mind loss. I tried everything, bouncing on the yoga ball, playing on the floor, holding her, rocking her, taking her for a car ride (man, I didn't realize our neighborhood was so small...after 15 rounds on the same street, I called that quits too), finally surrendering to a tall glass of wine and retail therapy.
I met some friends out in Burlingame and was SO happy when Jon said he'd put her to bed...bath and everything! I was SO excited and seriously moved to tears at this ever so kind gesture.
This morning, I woke up to a not so nice surprise. Addison's room seriously smells like a hazmat area. I feel like I can't see through the 8+ hour funk from sleeping through the night (believe me, I'd take the eye lash curling smell over a full nights sleep any day). But this morning was oddly different. Almost like popcorn mixed with kitty litter (the kind that has already been soiled) but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. As I got closer to the crib, the smell was getting thicker and I was loosing consciousness. After I sprayed myself with a little water and came to...that's when I noticed...Good Daddy forgot to put a diaper on her last night. So after 8 hours of her pooping and peeing, there the poor girl lay in her own soiled bed. She actually was smiling bigger than ever when I realized what had happened...I think she was saying "the jokes on you, mommy...now get me out of this stench."
Ah, Jon...this is the same guy that ran back into the house to get his wallet and after 10 minutes I came in to help him look only to find him watching TV. He FORGOT we were going anywhere and FORGOT I was waiting in the car. We love him though but I think I will do a diaper check next time.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Good Daddy
Men really do suck at this part for the first several weeks. I mean, they are REALLY bad! I had no idea that they would actually be this retarded when it came to keeping something alive. It's not their fault though. They really have no idea what to do and mother's become uuber control freaks. They just steer clear and hope to avoid saying anything that may be translated as rude, non-empathetic, or insulting (and believe me, it's a small window of topics that can be discussed). The dads really just see this new addition as a giant blog that only shits, barfs, and sucks on those mounds that used to belong to him. Yes, life changes drastically for him too.
Jon is getting better at becoming a daddy everyday. Since Addison is now smiling (whether it's to poop or that she actually recognizes us is still up for debate), Jon feels that she is interacting with him more. Men like to be entertained and before now, Addison wasn't doing it for him.
She just turned 2 months old and he's sliding into the daddy role and she is sliding into the daddy's little girl role. I talk about loving Addison more everyday but it's amazing how fun it is to see the man of your dreams become the man of her dreams too.
Mom's Groups
For those of you that have kids and don't have a mom's group...BIG MISTAKE! A few weeks ago, my sister came out and made me feel guilty for not joining a mom's group so the over-achiever that I am, I joined 2. One of the Mother's Club has a program that the members bring dinner to new mothers. I had a total stranger bring me over homemade chicken enchiladas! And last night someone else brought us dinner from Whole Foods. It was AWESOME! Neither person left out the most important thing...dessert! I couldn't believe it. This was the greatest thing ever!
The other mother's club is hilarious! We all just sit around in a circle (cum bah yah style) and ask questions that you only have the nerve to say in your head (or out load at the 3 am feeding when no one in the world is awake...not even the child suckling on the teet). We talk about what happens to the breast feeding when the kids starts to get teeth, how to interview a nanny (that's a story to be told at a later date...EKKK!), how soon we could start to have (dad, close your ears) sex, and other interesting topics. These are all discussed while women are whipping out their boobs to feed and rolling up their sleeves to change diapers. Good times. The only thing missing is the large glass of wine...though this type of group looks down on the drinking while nursing. Nothing can be perfect.
Then Mother's Day came around...what a perfect day that I overlooked so many times in the past (sorry mom). Jon woke up and cooked breakfast, cleaned the house, did the night time feeding with Addison. Man! I didn't see this one coming. The only bummed thing about this day is that I have to wait 363 days until it's here again. DAMN!
So this mother thing is not all cleaning diapers and not showering for days on end...it does have its perks. Ah crapper....she's up from her nap. Back to the grindstone.
The other mother's club is hilarious! We all just sit around in a circle (cum bah yah style) and ask questions that you only have the nerve to say in your head (or out load at the 3 am feeding when no one in the world is awake...not even the child suckling on the teet). We talk about what happens to the breast feeding when the kids starts to get teeth, how to interview a nanny (that's a story to be told at a later date...EKKK!), how soon we could start to have (dad, close your ears) sex, and other interesting topics. These are all discussed while women are whipping out their boobs to feed and rolling up their sleeves to change diapers. Good times. The only thing missing is the large glass of wine...though this type of group looks down on the drinking while nursing. Nothing can be perfect.
Then Mother's Day came around...what a perfect day that I overlooked so many times in the past (sorry mom). Jon woke up and cooked breakfast, cleaned the house, did the night time feeding with Addison. Man! I didn't see this one coming. The only bummed thing about this day is that I have to wait 363 days until it's here again. DAMN!
So this mother thing is not all cleaning diapers and not showering for days on end...it does have its perks. Ah crapper....she's up from her nap. Back to the grindstone.
Friday, May 8, 2009
Addison needs a style consultant
I am barely changing out of yoga pants (who are we kidding, they are sweats). I've totally gotten out of the game. I haven't gone shopping for clothes without elastic bands in months so who am I to help my daughter decide what to wear everyday. I'm trying to get in the habit of changing her out of her PJ's and into "day clothes" but I feel like I'm failing.
I didn't know it at first but I really had to look inward as people would stop me and say "my, that is a cute baby boy you have there." At first I thought they were all idiots. Can't they tell she's a girl? If not, how the hell have they come to the conclusion that she's a boy??? It was then, in Macy's, I looked down and noticed something hilarious. She was in a full boy's outfit. It was a cute little outfit with bears on the feet but it definatly looked like a boy's outfit. Damn! Busted!
She's still so cute. She now wears lady bug outfits just in case.
Full Body Diapers?
As a mom, you rarely go through an hour without saying the word
"poop" or variations of the word...poopie, stinky bomb, shit, nasty pie, poo poo...you get the point. So for those that have a weak stomach with that particular substance, you should probably tune out now.
Well, I'm getting more comfortable with the up the back poop blow out (not without a gag and watery eyes from time to time). When she gets excited, she pushes real hard and wiggles around until it distributes fully around the diaper. It's important to know how and when blowouts happen so you could possibly avoid them. She LOVES my new jogger stroller so we get a good poopie during a long run, she LOVES Phil (our good friend that lives down the street) and pooped all over him, and she LOVES when gets in a long car ride.
But besides the back blow out...something new happened the other day. The front blowout? What the heck is up with that? Instead of getting poop all the way up her back flirting with her hairline, she pooed (another great word) up her belly, between the boobies, and coming awful close to her chin. The interesting part is that she doesn't seem to mind one bit that she is covered in feces. In fact, she almost always is smiling as I'm finding enough baby wipes on this side of the Mississippi to clean up the sticky mess. Almost mocking me. Well, she is her mother's daughter, that's for sure. The fastest pooper in the West. My only solution is finding a full body diaper.
Yes, I did take a picture. HA! I wouldn't want to leave you out of the fun daily activities. One picture is the pre-jog. She LOVES the jogger stroller. The other picture is the after math...I'm the sucker.
"poop" or variations of the word...poopie, stinky bomb, shit, nasty pie, poo poo...you get the point. So for those that have a weak stomach with that particular substance, you should probably tune out now.
Well, I'm getting more comfortable with the up the back poop blow out (not without a gag and watery eyes from time to time). When she gets excited, she pushes real hard and wiggles around until it distributes fully around the diaper. It's important to know how and when blowouts happen so you could possibly avoid them. She LOVES my new jogger stroller so we get a good poopie during a long run, she LOVES Phil (our good friend that lives down the street) and pooped all over him, and she LOVES when gets in a long car ride.
But besides the back blow out...something new happened the other day. The front blowout? What the heck is up with that? Instead of getting poop all the way up her back flirting with her hairline, she pooed (another great word) up her belly, between the boobies, and coming awful close to her chin. The interesting part is that she doesn't seem to mind one bit that she is covered in feces. In fact, she almost always is smiling as I'm finding enough baby wipes on this side of the Mississippi to clean up the sticky mess. Almost mocking me. Well, she is her mother's daughter, that's for sure. The fastest pooper in the West. My only solution is finding a full body diaper.
Yes, I did take a picture. HA! I wouldn't want to leave you out of the fun daily activities. One picture is the pre-jog. She LOVES the jogger stroller. The other picture is the after math...I'm the sucker.
Friday, May 1, 2009
Reach Around Perfected
Ok...get your mind out of the gutter and keep that seat belt on.
As I'm not getting out a bit more, I'm finding that Addison is a bit bipolar when it comes to car rides. She can either be out like a light or she can be wailing at the top of her lungs. Well, if it's the latter, it can be very stressful. So I have perfected the reach around. While I'm driving, I can reach back, find the binky and stick it in her mouth for a few moments of silence before she spits it out again. It took a few trys and I wasn't always on the varsity squad. I missed many times mostly hitting some chin rolls but admittedly we did hit an eye once or twice.
This skill is VERY important if you are driving on your own. I would first try it at 3 am on the free way (no one else is out there) then you can slowly graduate to the big leagues.
Anyway, here are a few pictures of her. She is 6 1/2 weeks now (47 days to be exact). She's smiling a lot more...either because of more gas or pooping more...but we like to think of it as she's finally starting to recognize her parents. We like that avenue of thought much better.
Girls Just Want to Have Fun!
SURPRISE!! My sister came out to visit me on a surprise visit...well, she came out to visit Addison but who's counting. It was SO much fun having her here and having someone to confide in with all the gorry details....nipples, the "healing" process, the barf and poo, and all of the other daily activities that you only share with yourself during the day. It was great to have her here because she enlightened me on a few items (ok, just made me feel downright guilty).
1. You have to give the baby a bath more than once a week. I didn't know. Who would have thought a little creature could get so smelly? The bad thing was that I was around her all the time so I couldn't smell her funk. Nasty.
2. You need to get out of the house. I also smelled funky and am getting increasingly crazy because I'm not dealing with the "outside". Point blank...I'm terrified to take her anywhere. It seems that she has a trigger, like Pavlov's Dog...the minute she hears the seat belt buckle, you hear a giant poo blow out. By the time I bring her back in and change her, it's time to eat again...a vicious cycle. ARG!
3. You can dress her in cute girls clothes and not leave her in co-ed lookig onesis all day. OK, seriously?! We don't leave the house so who gives a crap what she craps in all day at the house. But point taken. She has an arsenal of adorable pink and green outfits that the tags are still on.
4. I do need to get away from the baby at least once a day. I think she came to this conclusion by finding me hiding under the covers, rocking in the corner as the baby FINALLY took a nap. She may have a point here.
5. I need to join a mommy's club. None of my friends with children live in close proximity to me and if they did, I wouldn't have felt the guilt of points 1-4 above. Just so I wouldn't miss another "you know what I would do" from my sister or mom...I joined 2 of those damn mommy clubs (more about those later...they actually rock!)
It was great to see my sister and I cried all the way home when she left. She was great with Addison and she simply can't wait to see her again. THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING!! I love you!
PS...the video is a payback from making me feel like a bad mom (see points 1-5 above). Also, this is proof that she changed diapers. American Idol, here comes Trisha Barton!
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1. You have to give the baby a bath more than once a week. I didn't know. Who would have thought a little creature could get so smelly? The bad thing was that I was around her all the time so I couldn't smell her funk. Nasty.
2. You need to get out of the house. I also smelled funky and am getting increasingly crazy because I'm not dealing with the "outside". Point blank...I'm terrified to take her anywhere. It seems that she has a trigger, like Pavlov's Dog...the minute she hears the seat belt buckle, you hear a giant poo blow out. By the time I bring her back in and change her, it's time to eat again...a vicious cycle. ARG!
3. You can dress her in cute girls clothes and not leave her in co-ed lookig onesis all day. OK, seriously?! We don't leave the house so who gives a crap what she craps in all day at the house. But point taken. She has an arsenal of adorable pink and green outfits that the tags are still on.
4. I do need to get away from the baby at least once a day. I think she came to this conclusion by finding me hiding under the covers, rocking in the corner as the baby FINALLY took a nap. She may have a point here.
5. I need to join a mommy's club. None of my friends with children live in close proximity to me and if they did, I wouldn't have felt the guilt of points 1-4 above. Just so I wouldn't miss another "you know what I would do" from my sister or mom...I joined 2 of those damn mommy clubs (more about those later...they actually rock!)
It was great to see my sister and I cried all the way home when she left. She was great with Addison and she simply can't wait to see her again. THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING!! I love you!
PS...the video is a payback from making me feel like a bad mom (see points 1-5 above). Also, this is proof that she changed diapers. American Idol, here comes Trisha Barton!
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