Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Two's Company

It's pretty sad that I haven't updated my blog since #2 has arrived....Avery Lynn Moeller to be exact. She arrived a few days early but was able to miss the big events around Addison's life...her 2nd birthday party (Sunday, March 13th) and her actual birthday (March 15th). Instead she arrived smack dab between the two. On 8:08 pm Tuesday, March 14th, Avery arrived at 7 lb and 6 oz and at 21 1/2 inches (those are almost all correct...give me a break already). For a few hours, we officially had 2 kids under 2. Semantics? Yes but still it's true.

How did you prepare for such a crazy addition, Tara? There are no books out there to teach you how to bring home #2?! I couldn't believe it. So I had to ask perfect strangers at Target and the grocery store that looked like their kids were about 2 years apart. I asked all kinds of questions like "Did you put the older in a toddler bed before the baby arrived or sack up for another crib?" "Did you keep both kids at home during maternity leave?" "How did you manage the sacred mommy time with the toddler without going crazy when the baby was screaming their head off?" and the best question "What the hell am I getting myself into?" The answers were all over the place even though I thought I properly screened each mom by shallowly judging them according to their appearance (did they look showered or are they wearing the proper Lululemon attire) and the cuteness of their kids but alas, judging the books and covers don't work...dag!

I've now contemplated writing a book because for lack of cuthe, I wouldn't lie about what the hell you are actually getting yourself into (unless it's to a pregnant lady with a toddler in tote...that's just plain mean). While I've learned a lot in the last few weeks, I'm certain I have lot more to learn. For one...I'm not made to be a stay at home mommy (God bless every single one of those ladies...they should DEFINITELY get handicapped stickers for the parking alone). Here was my short stint with staying at home....

Addison has been sick the past few days with some crazy diarrhea. I tried to be the responsible mom and take her to the park, read a few books and fit in art and crafts time. I REALLY tried but failed miserably. She was mean and screamed when we went to the park, then screamed as we were coming home (surround sound screaming while both were wailing). I was getting some crazy looks spanning from "Ahh, that poor lady" "Glad it's not my kids" to "You are a terrible mother" During meal times it went like so...Mommy: "Do you want milk and a cheese sandwich" Addison: "NO MILK!!!" Mommy: "Ok, no milk." Addison "MOMMY I WANT MILK!!!" Damn, so annoying...so I stuck with what I know, Disney movies and Sesame Street.

Alas, I woke up this morning after a short nap (2:45 am feeding and Addison woke up and decided to "sleep" with us which meant kicking me in the back all night). No worries though, I had a little pep in my step...I was dropping Addison off at school today. So as I dropped her off, a smile came across my face (more like a smirk) and felt a little bad as the teachers are not getting paid enough to care for the possessed kid I was about to drop off. It was good for me to learn that I am not cut out for stay at homeness and good for my husband as he was assured that we will always be a double income family.

OK...now that I've caught you up to the past few weeks (and perhaps raised your blood pressure or reminded you to renew your birth control pills), I've got a baby to feed. To land on a good note, the girls are back (so long A cup...HELLO C!).

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

WOW...Long time

Hey there...it's been a LONG time since I updated this site. A bit embarrassing but alas, I have a fabulous excuse. Since March, we have sold our house in San Mateo, moved to Menlo Park, then moved to Woodside, then bought in Menlo Park (only to have to tear down and rebuild) and looking for new place to live (our lease runs out in Woodside in 60 days)...all while pregnant. Hmmm, I think that's about it.

We are neck deep in house planning and having so much fun (so far). Over Turkey Day my parents came in town and did some major time with Addy. With my parents watching Addy, we were able to pick out all the kitchen appliances. At the rate we are going, we should have our first drawings by Christmas. We can't wait to see them and share them with you. We will be moving out of Woodside into another house (yet to be determined) end of January or first of Feb. I am starting to feel like we are a part of the federal witness program moving 3 times in one year. HA!

Addison is now 21 months old and got her first hair cut only a couple days ago. It went over like a fart in church even though we bribed her with cookies, Elmo and a slew of toys. A few minutes of public screaming and $40 and we were set. $40 you say? I say a crazy rip off so I'm doing the next hair cuts (say for about the next 15 years) Lynn style. With some poultry sheers in the kitchen. I'm pretty sure my parents didn't pay to get my hair cut until I was well into highschool.

Addy is on her way through the "ABC's" mastering the first 3 letters. She's a dancing fool and as crazy as always. She's about to graduate to a toddler bed (before the newest addition arrives). Potty training has been tabled for the time being...mommy and daddy are a bit too lazy but we'll kick it into high gear in the next month or so.

As for the pregnancy, it's is going great! I just reached my 6 month hump (spoiler alert...it's a girl). The second time around is going MUCH faster than the first. In fact, most of the time I forget how far along I am...versus the first time, I read a million books that explained the size of the baby (what the hell is a spaghetti squash anyways?!?).

That should catch you guys up for the next couple of months but don't worry...i have some hilarious stories to share with you and I will very soon.

Friday, March 19, 2010

Happy Birthday, Addy!

So my infant just turned 1…that is a crazy thing to say. The year flew by but the hilarity seemed to never end. Looking back through the posts, I think “who the hell sent me home with a kid…I knew NOTHING”. In fact, right after Addison was born, I spent some time at a family reunion. I had asked my cousin (who had a 3 month old at the time) what she was going to feed her infant…apples? She was still breastfeeding and the baby couldn’t even hold her head up yet…my cousin simply pointed at her boobs and shook her head and disappeared into the back bedroom. I remember back when we were checking out of the hospital. The nurses made sure we had a car seat (didn’t even check if we had managed to set it up properly) then what seemed like slow motion, the noise of the closing car door echoed leaving Jon and I alone with this new person. What the hell do we do now? It was no longer the 2 of us and that statement alone left us giddy and petrified.

I went back to work when she was 12 weeks old and entrusted a gal who barely spoke English to watch over her. The anguish and excitement I felt as I drove to work that morning is still fresh in my brain. In fact, I still have the anguish but somehow the excitement for work has fizzled. Go figure. The thing about moms, I’m realizing, is that we don’t give ourselves a break. We judge other mom’s in whether they go back to work or not, do they breastfeed or formula, daycare or nanny, sleep in the same room or in their crib, let them chew on dog toys or not….you get the point. If we could give each other a break, perhaps we can give ourselves a break. The thing I have learned in the past year is more than I’ve learned in undergrad, grad school or any internship. You can’t do it all. Delegation is freedom. So long micromanager and perfection…hello to getting by and vomit free clothing. By the way, Magaly (our barely English speaking nanny) is AMAZING!

Thank you for taking the ride with me as we went from new born miconium poo to the mustard seed blowouts to the all out adult poops, you are gracious for being my outlet. As I learn more about this motherhood thing, I learn more about myself. And for all of those that are wondering how Jon is doing…he has remembered the diaper each and every time.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

The Master Juggler

So it seems like we are finally getting into a inconsistent groove. From the "who is dropping off" to the "who is picking up," we haven't forgotten her yet. I'm sure it's only a matter of time before the both of us are watching TV and throwing back a couple glasses of wine when we realize that we've left her over at the nanny's house....who are we kidding, we would have gotten a call well before we socked down the second glass of wine.

Since we love to dress our little monkey into hilarious outfits (ie the Easter bunny dress), Halloween is just around the corner and you know we wouldn't pass up the chance to dress her in a future most embarrassing photo opp...of course, this time it's at least socially acceptable being Halloween and all. She's going to be a little bumble bee. I think I'll get a lady bug outfit and I'll try to get Jon to dress up as a giant green frog...why? because it'll be damn funny. Plus last year he made me dress up as Wonder Women when I was 5 1/2 months pregnant.

We did take her by the pumpkin patch in Half Moon Bay. Although we sandwiched it between two parties, we did get some great pictures. Grammy got her an outfit that said "Cutest Pumpkin in the Patch" and I couldn't agree with it more. She is getting cuter as the days go by. She seems as happy as can be. Today is her 7 month birthday and has 8 full teeth (needless to say I've stopped nursing...a story to be told later). It's hard to believe that just 7 months ago I was wondering what kind of mom I'll be and now I'm just wondering if she'll ever know how much I do love her.

Sunday, August 9, 2009


After paroozing the blog to see how many inappropriate (not to mention worthy of child services coming to get me) entries I've posted...when low and behold, I've forgotten to tell one of my favorite stories to date.
This is a story of a mother's quick reaction to avoid a possible awkward doctors visit. As you all know, Addison has been teething since 3 months old (oh how fun for Daddy and Mommy). A couple of weeks ago she was ubber cranky so I busted out the Tylenol. I wish I could say that Mommy uses it very rarely but it's that or drinking a few glasses of chardonnay to calm the babe's nerves. I have not resorted to the brandy on the gums yet but I'm not above it or judging anyone who has done it...desperate times calls for desperate measures. OK...back to the hysterical crying story. Addison has reached bullhorn level when I reached for the Tylenol drops. As I was closing in on her mouth with the little dropper full of the secret silencer, she batted my arm away. It was as if the small little bit of Tylenol was falling in slow motion and it landed in the worst place possible....HER EYE!

The screaming went to a whole new level and the only thing I could think of at that split moment was to lick the drop of Tylenol out of her eye. Yes, I dove down with my tongue to lick my baby to safety. Once she settled down (only a few seconds later because I think I caught her off guard as much as I caught myself off guard) I darted for the bathroom and grabbed a wash cloth (which would have been the better option in the first place).

No harm, no foul. She was out like a light in a matter of a few minutes with nothing to prove of my mother lion, little cub mishap.

It did leave me laughing hysterically for days after. She is one tough cookie.
Here are some photos of tummy time and our monthly mother's club meeting. She's 4 1/2 months old . CRAZY!

Monday, July 20, 2009


And on the 7th day, God made teeth...ok, maybe it was the third month but regardless...it was another horrible thing to do to a new mom. Seriously, what the hell is the deal with all the fun surprises that dawn on us. First, the whole breast feeding learning curve (that sucked...literally and figuratively) then it's breast feeding with TEETH!!

She got her first chompers at 3 months which, go figure, is early. While she is discovering these newly uprooted sharp tools, she decides to clamp down on anything she can get her paws on. As you can imagine, when you stick your head in a lion's mouth, you are playing with danger. So as I bring her mouth up to the tap (picture in slow motion with a scared cringe on my face), I know I'm playing with fire. When I asked the doctor what to do when she uses my teets as a new puppy's chew toy, all she can say is "Just don't react. Addison will begin to think it's a game." And to be honest, my first reaction is to flick her on the ear or spray her with a water bottle (similar to how you train dogs). While I understand that this reaction isn't very "maternal," you can't help human nature.

Since she is now just over 4 months, she is biting a lot less but with more force. Needless to say, Daddy does more and more bottle feeding now a days (not by boob, of course, by a bottle...thought I would clear up any questions for you wise-asses out there).

Monday, June 29, 2009

It's Time to Fly

I traveled to Des Moines, Iowa for a family reunion. It was just Addison and I so you can see where this story is going. Alone, flying, blowout poops, barfing, and the highest pitched screams knows to humankind. All of this, and it wasn't half bad. I'll point out the highlights....

On the way there, I sat next to the nicest (and largest) man. He was 6'8" and well over 300 lbs. He was a very fit guy that used to play professional basketball for the French league. After he showed me his photos of his 1 and a half year old, I felt comfortable that he would pummel me when Addison when haywire. Since we left at the crack of dawn, she did sleep for most of the way until, that is, the damn flight attendant came on the loud speaker and about scared the life out of the poor girl (there enters the "haywire"). I thought it'd be a good time to take her to the bathroom after all, we only had 30 minutes before we got there, what could go wrong.

After returning from the bathroom, I was trying to gather up the bombshell that Addison and I created. To become more efficient, I decided to be "that mom" and ask the giant man to hold my little baby. He seemed excited and Addison was back to her cute self cooing and smiling...that is...right before she barfed on the guy. Yes, down his black button down (I'm sure expensive) shirt. I thought, what the hell, he's already barfed on so I decided to give a cute little smile, dab him off, apologize and continue on with getting my things gathered up.

The only other giant problem of the weekend is when we were stuck in traffic (yes, traffic in Des Moines....can you believe it?!?). It was about the only stretch of 2 miles in the entire midwest that had traffic and we were stuck in it. Since Addison hadn't pooped in awhile I could only guess that I would be that lucky for her to choose this moment. What a gal...and poop she did. After the oh too familiar reddened face and the "cute" grunt, it was all over....the car. When we finally arrived, I assessed the damage and it was much worse than I estimated. It was not only all over her, her clothes and down to her socks, it has made it's way into the car seat...ooozing through the holes of the car seat straps and down into the base. Even for someone with a strong stomach, this was horrifying. I ended up carrying her by her armpits held out in front of me straight to the bathroom. After hosing her down, I put the car seat outside and decided to literally hose that down too. WHEW! It still makes me woozy thinking about it but don't worry...i didn't snap any pictures of it.

We fly again this week for a full week in Snowbird, UT. I'm sure more stories to come.