Teeth

And on the 7th day, God made teeth...ok, maybe it was the third month but regardless...it was another horrible thing to do to a new mom. Seriously, what the hell is the deal with all the fun surprises that dawn on us. First, the whole breast feeding learning curve (that sucked...literally and figuratively) then it's breast feeding with TEETH!!

She got her first chompers at 3 months which, go figure, is early. While she is discovering these newly uprooted sharp tools, she decides to clamp down on anything she can get her paws on. As you can imagine, when you stick your head in a lion's mouth, you are playing with danger. So as I bring her mouth up to the tap (picture in slow motion with a scared cringe on my face), I know I'm playing with fire. When I asked the doctor what to do when she uses my teets as a new puppy's chew toy, all she can say is "Just don't react. Addison will begin to think it's a game." And to be honest, my first reaction is to flick her on the ear or spray her with a water bottle (similar to how you train dogs). While I understand that this reaction isn't very "maternal," you can't help human nature.

Since she is now just over 4 months, she is biting a lot less but with more force. Needless to say, Daddy does more and more bottle feeding now a days (not by boob, of course, by a bottle...thought I would clear up any questions for you wise-asses out there).

It's Time to Fly

I traveled to Des Moines, Iowa for a family reunion. It was just Addison and I so you can see where this story is going. Alone, flying, blowout poops, barfing, and the highest pitched screams knows to humankind. All of this, and it wasn't half bad. I'll point out the highlights....

On the way there, I sat next to the nicest (and largest) man. He was 6'8" and well over 300 lbs. He was a very fit guy that used to play professional basketball for the French league. After he showed me his photos of his 1 and a half year old, I felt comfortable that he would pummel me when Addison when haywire. Since we left at the crack of dawn, she did sleep for most of the way until, that is, the damn flight attendant came on the loud speaker and about scared the life out of the poor girl (there enters the "haywire"). I thought it'd be a good time to take her to the bathroom after all, we only had 30 minutes before we got there, what could go wrong.

After returning from the bathroom, I was trying to gather up the bombshell that Addison and I created. To become more efficient, I decided to be "that mom" and ask the giant man to hold my little baby. He seemed excited and Addison was back to her cute self cooing and smiling...that is...right before she barfed on the guy. Yes, down his black button down (I'm sure expensive) shirt. I thought, what the hell, he's already barfed on so I decided to give a cute little smile, dab him off, apologize and continue on with getting my things gathered up.

The only other giant problem of the weekend is when we were stuck in traffic (yes, traffic in Des Moines....can you believe it?!?). It was about the only stretch of 2 miles in the entire midwest that had traffic and we were stuck in it. Since Addison hadn't pooped in awhile I could only guess that I would be that lucky for her to choose this moment. What a gal...and poop she did. After the oh too familiar reddened face and the "cute" grunt, it was all over....the car. When we finally arrived, I assessed the damage and it was much worse than I estimated. It was not only all over her, her clothes and down to her socks, it has made it's way into the car seat...ooozing through the holes of the car seat straps and down into the base. Even for someone with a strong stomach, this was horrifying. I ended up carrying her by her armpits held out in front of me straight to the bathroom. After hosing her down, I put the car seat outside and decided to literally hose that down too. WHEW! It still makes me woozy thinking about it but don't worry...i didn't snap any pictures of it.

We fly again this week for a full week in Snowbird, UT. I'm sure more stories to come.

Lake of the Ozarks

Over Memorial Day weekend, the Lynn-Moeller family set out on our first flight. We were headed to Lake of the Ozarks in Missouri. We were so nervous that she was going to be a pill but it was magical. She slept the whole way. Her mom has a bit of narkilepsy so I was thrilled that she took that attribute from me. I'm sure by the time she's 2, we couldn't fly without a shot of traquilizer but we'll take the pleasant flight for now.

While we were at my parent's lake house, we decked her out with a cute little swimsuit. Holy cow, I had no idea she could get cuter. She took her first boat right (which was a little suspect but she survived). She got to meet 2 of her nephews and they were adorable with her. Alex is 10 and Jacob is 5. And we figured out that she LOVES power tools thanks to her Grampy.

Sleep Walking

So I think both Jon and I are stressing about me going back to work but Jon tends to tell me about it in his sleep. On Saturday night we had a date night complete with dinner and dancing (what are we 70 years old?!?). Don't judge, it was with my mother's club and it was AWESOME.

Anyways, we may have had a few cocktails too many because that's when Jon does all kinds of great things in his sleep. He has tried to change Addison's diaper (PS. in this story Addison was his pillow). It was so hilarious waking up to him sitting up in bed trying to swaddle his pillow. I asked him what he was doing and he said that Addison had a dirty diaper. HA!!

The most recent incident, that night he was trying to turn off Addison's bouncy chair. I woke up to him digging under the covers. He has his whole body down by my feet with his butt up in the air (think child's pose) fumbling around to find the off switch to her bouncy chair. He said "Tara, I'm trying to turn it off so she can go to sleep." Calmly, I said "You are still sleeping, right?" He said "yes" Then I calmly said, "You don't really have Addison under the covers, right?" He said no and said he had to go to the bathroom. Instead of going in the bathroom only a step away from the bed, he decided to go to the 2nd bathroom when I heard a big CRASH! He decided that he wasn't going to open his eyes and accidentally went into the kitchen where we just installed a safety gate. Needless to say, it was an eventful evening.

All the while...Addison is passed out in her crib. Ah bliss.

Back to school...

Today marks my last day on maternity leave. She is officially 12 weeks old. I have all kind of mixed feelings. I'm happy to go back to a job I truly love but I'm leaving the love of my life. I don't think there is a day that goes by that I'm hoping that I'm making the right decision. I think the child care we chose is going to work out great and Specialized has done a great job working with my schedule so I have nothing to worry about, right?

Sorry to get a little somber here but this is going to teach me to embrace every moment with this person in my life. I look at her and wonder what lies ahead. What kind of person she's going to become and praying that I'll be the compass for her to guide her down the safest path. I am returning to work 3 short months later as a completely different person. My heart is bigger, my smiles more often, and my hugs more plentiful. She has made me a better person and I'm looking forward to coming home every night more to be the best mom I can possibly be. Thanks for reading and stay tuned for the hilarious stories that lay ahead...

How does she do it?

Deep thoughts by Tara Moeller

You know how during the day babies struggle to poop? Their faces turn bright red, their body tenses up, and their little fists clenched tight. It's a 10 minute sweat fest for the baby. And now I ponder, how is it that she has a more than full diaper when she wakes up? Isn't she in the most relaxed state? Does it just ooze out? Seriously...she can't be pushing that hard while she's sleeping, can she? I mean I wouldn't be able to poop in my sleep, would you?

Just a thought.

The Sleep Monitor

All moms go out and get the best baby monitor and set it up perfectly so they can keep close tabs on the baby. So, of course, we did the same. Actually we went to Babies R Us and registered for the most expensive (because it has to be the best, right). We didn't want the responsiblily of doing the researching all of the blah blah blahs...after all, expensive means better, right? Whatever.

Anyways, we got the nighttime vision, vibrating, walkie talkie type of monitor. Very high tech. When the baby cries, we can put it on vibrate so we don't actually have to hear her cry. It just vibrates once it gets to a loud enough level. Sweet! Now my boobs don't throb everytime the baby monitor screams at me. Though now I'm a bit nervous that I might train my body to lactate everytime something vibrates. Hmmm, where I could go with that last statement but this is a family show.

Let's talk the night vision...it's a bit alien like. When she looks at the screen, all you see is a scary white head and black beady eyes. Creepy. The eyes just stare at the screen and it almost feels like she's staring right through the monitor to you.

It is a bit funny when it's Jon's turn to put her binky back into her mouth. I can spy to see if he actually picks her up or just does his duty.

It truly is a cool gadget. I'm excited to see what we do with it after we stop using if for Addison...hmmm.