The Master Juggler

So it seems like we are finally getting into a inconsistent groove. From the "who is dropping off" to the "who is picking up," we haven't forgotten her yet. I'm sure it's only a matter of time before the both of us are watching TV and throwing back a couple glasses of wine when we realize that we've left her over at the nanny's house....who are we kidding, we would have gotten a call well before we socked down the second glass of wine.

Since we love to dress our little monkey into hilarious outfits (ie the Easter bunny dress), Halloween is just around the corner and you know we wouldn't pass up the chance to dress her in a future most embarrassing photo opp...of course, this time it's at least socially acceptable being Halloween and all. She's going to be a little bumble bee. I think I'll get a lady bug outfit and I'll try to get Jon to dress up as a giant green frog...why? because it'll be damn funny. Plus last year he made me dress up as Wonder Women when I was 5 1/2 months pregnant.

We did take her by the pumpkin patch in Half Moon Bay. Although we sandwiched it between two parties, we did get some great pictures. Grammy got her an outfit that said "Cutest Pumpkin in the Patch" and I couldn't agree with it more. She is getting cuter as the days go by. She seems as happy as can be. Today is her 7 month birthday and has 8 full teeth (needless to say I've stopped nursing...a story to be told later). It's hard to believe that just 7 months ago I was wondering what kind of mom I'll be and now I'm just wondering if she'll ever know how much I do love her.

OH MY EYE!

After paroozing the blog to see how many inappropriate (not to mention worthy of child services coming to get me) entries I've posted...when low and behold, I've forgotten to tell one of my favorite stories to date.

This is a story of a mother's quick reaction to avoid a possible awkward doctors visit. As you all know, Addison has been teething since 3 months old (oh how fun for Daddy and Mommy). A couple of weeks ago she was ubber cranky so I busted out the Tylenol. I wish I could say that Mommy uses it very rarely but it's that or drinking a few glasses of chardonnay to calm the babe's nerves. I have not resorted to the brandy on the gums yet but I'm not above it or judging anyone who has done it...desperate times calls for desperate measures. OK...back to the hysterical crying story. Addison has reached bullhorn level when I reached for the Tylenol drops. As I was closing in on her mouth with the little dropper full of the secret silencer, she batted my arm away. It was as if the small little bit of Tylenol was falling in slow motion and it landed in the worst place possible....HER EYE!

The screaming went to a whole new level and the only thing I could think of at that split moment was to lick the drop of Tylenol out of her eye. Yes, I dove down with my tongue to lick my baby to safety. Once she settled down (only a few seconds later because I think I caught her off guard as much as I caught myself off guard) I darted for the bathroom and grabbed a wash cloth (which would have been the better option in the first place).

No harm, no foul. She was out like a light in a matter of a few minutes with nothing to prove of my mother lion, little cub mishap.

It did leave me laughing hysterically for days after. She is one tough cookie.

Here are some photos of tummy time and our monthly mother's club meeting. She's 4 1/2 months old . CRAZY!

Teeth

And on the 7th day, God made teeth...ok, maybe it was the third month but regardless...it was another horrible thing to do to a new mom. Seriously, what the hell is the deal with all the fun surprises that dawn on us. First, the whole breast feeding learning curve (that sucked...literally and figuratively) then it's breast feeding with TEETH!!

She got her first chompers at 3 months which, go figure, is early. While she is discovering these newly uprooted sharp tools, she decides to clamp down on anything she can get her paws on. As you can imagine, when you stick your head in a lion's mouth, you are playing with danger. So as I bring her mouth up to the tap (picture in slow motion with a scared cringe on my face), I know I'm playing with fire. When I asked the doctor what to do when she uses my teets as a new puppy's chew toy, all she can say is "Just don't react. Addison will begin to think it's a game." And to be honest, my first reaction is to flick her on the ear or spray her with a water bottle (similar to how you train dogs). While I understand that this reaction isn't very "maternal," you can't help human nature.

Since she is now just over 4 months, she is biting a lot less but with more force. Needless to say, Daddy does more and more bottle feeding now a days (not by boob, of course, by a bottle...thought I would clear up any questions for you wise-asses out there).

It's Time to Fly

I traveled to Des Moines, Iowa for a family reunion. It was just Addison and I so you can see where this story is going. Alone, flying, blowout poops, barfing, and the highest pitched screams knows to humankind. All of this, and it wasn't half bad. I'll point out the highlights....

On the way there, I sat next to the nicest (and largest) man. He was 6'8" and well over 300 lbs. He was a very fit guy that used to play professional basketball for the French league. After he showed me his photos of his 1 and a half year old, I felt comfortable that he would pummel me when Addison when haywire. Since we left at the crack of dawn, she did sleep for most of the way until, that is, the damn flight attendant came on the loud speaker and about scared the life out of the poor girl (there enters the "haywire"). I thought it'd be a good time to take her to the bathroom after all, we only had 30 minutes before we got there, what could go wrong.

After returning from the bathroom, I was trying to gather up the bombshell that Addison and I created. To become more efficient, I decided to be "that mom" and ask the giant man to hold my little baby. He seemed excited and Addison was back to her cute self cooing and smiling...that is...right before she barfed on the guy. Yes, down his black button down (I'm sure expensive) shirt. I thought, what the hell, he's already barfed on so I decided to give a cute little smile, dab him off, apologize and continue on with getting my things gathered up.

The only other giant problem of the weekend is when we were stuck in traffic (yes, traffic in Des Moines....can you believe it?!?). It was about the only stretch of 2 miles in the entire midwest that had traffic and we were stuck in it. Since Addison hadn't pooped in awhile I could only guess that I would be that lucky for her to choose this moment. What a gal...and poop she did. After the oh too familiar reddened face and the "cute" grunt, it was all over....the car. When we finally arrived, I assessed the damage and it was much worse than I estimated. It was not only all over her, her clothes and down to her socks, it has made it's way into the car seat...ooozing through the holes of the car seat straps and down into the base. Even for someone with a strong stomach, this was horrifying. I ended up carrying her by her armpits held out in front of me straight to the bathroom. After hosing her down, I put the car seat outside and decided to literally hose that down too. WHEW! It still makes me woozy thinking about it but don't worry...i didn't snap any pictures of it.

We fly again this week for a full week in Snowbird, UT. I'm sure more stories to come.

Lake of the Ozarks

Over Memorial Day weekend, the Lynn-Moeller family set out on our first flight. We were headed to Lake of the Ozarks in Missouri. We were so nervous that she was going to be a pill but it was magical. She slept the whole way. Her mom has a bit of narkilepsy so I was thrilled that she took that attribute from me. I'm sure by the time she's 2, we couldn't fly without a shot of traquilizer but we'll take the pleasant flight for now.

While we were at my parent's lake house, we decked her out with a cute little swimsuit. Holy cow, I had no idea she could get cuter. She took her first boat right (which was a little suspect but she survived). She got to meet 2 of her nephews and they were adorable with her. Alex is 10 and Jacob is 5. And we figured out that she LOVES power tools thanks to her Grampy.

Sleep Walking

So I think both Jon and I are stressing about me going back to work but Jon tends to tell me about it in his sleep. On Saturday night we had a date night complete with dinner and dancing (what are we 70 years old?!?). Don't judge, it was with my mother's club and it was AWESOME.

Anyways, we may have had a few cocktails too many because that's when Jon does all kinds of great things in his sleep. He has tried to change Addison's diaper (PS. in this story Addison was his pillow). It was so hilarious waking up to him sitting up in bed trying to swaddle his pillow. I asked him what he was doing and he said that Addison had a dirty diaper. HA!!

The most recent incident, that night he was trying to turn off Addison's bouncy chair. I woke up to him digging under the covers. He has his whole body down by my feet with his butt up in the air (think child's pose) fumbling around to find the off switch to her bouncy chair. He said "Tara, I'm trying to turn it off so she can go to sleep." Calmly, I said "You are still sleeping, right?" He said "yes" Then I calmly said, "You don't really have Addison under the covers, right?" He said no and said he had to go to the bathroom. Instead of going in the bathroom only a step away from the bed, he decided to go to the 2nd bathroom when I heard a big CRASH! He decided that he wasn't going to open his eyes and accidentally went into the kitchen where we just installed a safety gate. Needless to say, it was an eventful evening.

All the while...Addison is passed out in her crib. Ah bliss.

Back to school...

Today marks my last day on maternity leave. She is officially 12 weeks old. I have all kind of mixed feelings. I'm happy to go back to a job I truly love but I'm leaving the love of my life. I don't think there is a day that goes by that I'm hoping that I'm making the right decision. I think the child care we chose is going to work out great and Specialized has done a great job working with my schedule so I have nothing to worry about, right?

Sorry to get a little somber here but this is going to teach me to embrace every moment with this person in my life. I look at her and wonder what lies ahead. What kind of person she's going to become and praying that I'll be the compass for her to guide her down the safest path. I am returning to work 3 short months later as a completely different person. My heart is bigger, my smiles more often, and my hugs more plentiful. She has made me a better person and I'm looking forward to coming home every night more to be the best mom I can possibly be. Thanks for reading and stay tuned for the hilarious stories that lay ahead...