So my infant just turned 1…that is a crazy thing to say. The year flew by but the hilarity seemed to never end. Looking back through the posts, I think “who the hell sent me home with a kid…I knew NOTHING”. In fact, right after Addison was born, I spent some time at a family reunion. I had asked my cousin (who had a 3 month old at the time) what she was going to feed her infant…apples? She was still breastfeeding and the baby couldn’t even hold her head up yet…my cousin simply pointed at her boobs and shook her head and disappeared into the back bedroom. I remember back when we were checking out of the hospital. The nurses made sure we had a car seat (didn’t even check if we had managed to set it up properly) then what seemed like slow motion, the noise of the closing car door echoed leaving Jon and I alone with this new person. What the hell do we do now? It was no longer the 2 of us and that statement alone left us giddy and petrified.
I went back to work when she was 12 weeks old and entrusted a gal who barely spoke English to watch over her. The anguish and excitement I felt as I drove to work that morning is still fresh in my brain. In fact, I still have the anguish but somehow the excitement for work has fizzled. Go figure. The thing about moms, I’m realizing, is that we don’t give ourselves a break. We judge other mom’s in whether they go back to work or not, do they breastfeed or formula, daycare or nanny, sleep in the same room or in their crib, let them chew on dog toys or not….you get the point. If we could give each other a break, perhaps we can give ourselves a break. The thing I have learned in the past year is more than I’ve learned in undergrad, grad school or any internship. You can’t do it all. Delegation is freedom. So long micromanager and perfection…hello to getting by and vomit free clothing. By the way, Magaly (our barely English speaking nanny) is AMAZING!
Thank you for taking the ride with me as we went from new born miconium poo to the mustard seed blowouts to the all out adult poops, you are gracious for being my outlet. As I learn more about this motherhood thing, I learn more about myself. And for all of those that are wondering how Jon is doing…he has remembered the diaper each and every time.
